In a shocking twist, it was announced early this morning that Big Baller Brand will be sponsoring the historic summit between President Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un. After what have been described as “weeks of negotiations”, all three sides have finally reached an agreement on the deal, which Lavar Ball describes as “the most important sponsorship deal since Sonny Vaccaro signed Jordan. Never Lost!”
According to leaked documents from the deal, acquired by Jack ‘Em Up through unnamed sources, Kim Jong Un will wear an outfit featuring multiple pieces of Big Baller Brand apparel. Most important to sneaker heads, Kim will be sporting a pair of Melo Ball 1’s during the summit, featuring a custom, one of a kind colorway based on the flag and design of the DPRK flag. On top of the sure to be fire sneakers, Kim will also be outfitted with a custom pin-striped suit jacket, which we’re told will prominently feature the iconic “BBB” initials.
As for Big Baller Brand’s participation in the agreement, Lavar has agreed to let his youngest son, LaMelo, play in the inaugural season of the Democratic People’s League, a new league intended to bring professional basketball to the isolated North Korea. LaMelo, 16, will be playing point guard for the Pyongyang Supreme Leaders, and is sure to immediately be the breakout star of the league. “My son gonna be the best damn player North Korea ever seen,” said Lavar, “ain’t none of these guys gonna be able to stop him!” When asked about the move during a Lakers pre-draft workout, Lonzo Ball, LaMelo’s older brother, stated he is “excited to see Melo play against some grown men. Think it’ll be great for his draft stock when he’s ready for the NBA.” LaMelo himself, speaking on the record to Jack ‘Em Up, added “wait, Dad did what?” LiAngelo Ball, the middle brother of the Ball family, not be reached for comment after tragically falling off the face of the Earth upon declaring for the 2018 NBA draft.
Lastly, Trump himself is also taking part in the sponsorship. He will wear a custom wig for the event, which is rumored to have “Big Baller Brand” written in red white and blue across his combover. The President will also wear a tie featuring a portrait of Lavar himself. While admitting they’ve had differences in the past, Trump seemed excited about the historic deal, saying “Lavar and I have, I know we’ve have had our problems, I know, I know, but it’s in the past now. He and I, Lavar and I, we have so much in common. So, so much. Never lost, he always says that, never lost. I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve also never lost a general election. Never! You see, we have an electoral college system in America, and I won it, I beat crooked Hillary. You should’ve seen the looks, the sad looks on her faces and her friends, pathetic. So sad.” This rant continued for several hours, and unfortunately had to be condensed for our article.
So, what was already shaping up to be a historic moment in world history has only become a bigger spectacle with the addition of the Ball family. Jack ‘Em Up is excited to see what happens in the negotiations, and will you keep you updated with the latest news on the Big Balling Summit.
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